I knew adding to our house would make this more than cozy, but what I didn't count on was all the stuff that would continually be brought into my home. Everyday, more pops up. Stuff, stuff and more stuff.

I am discerning when it comes to stuff. I'd rather have just a few very nice things than a lot of crap. I understand that this makes my house seem a little bare, apart from the treasures I already have. One person's bare is another's minimalist, anyway. I don't mind minimalism; I embrace it, actually.

Less stuff, less to clean up, less to dust, and more anticipation each Christmas when my mother-in-law hands me that one impractical treasure neatly tied up with a bow fit for a princess. My mother-in-law's taste is impeccable and very much in sync with my own. There's always a gem among the oranges, toothbrushes, socks and deodorant.  A gift whose value will appreciate over the years, become an heirloom and be able to passed onto one of our 3 collective children.

My mother has found a niche in great the stuff she sends me on holidays and birthdays. She's figured out that her daughter is a stuff snob of her creating. I have a good bit of artwork waiting to framed thanks to her and my jewelry over-floweth with interesting and precious baubles.   

But alas, my perfect plan of aquiring quality stuff has met resistance. You see, my sis and my DN don't have the patience I do. They want stuff now and they'll settle for anything.

Like the knife set my husband pulled out of storage. It's a cheap knife set, your first apartment kind where you're flat broke and its all you can afford? My sis said "Hey, we can use these knives!" 

N-O! No. I've spent 33 years with crap knives, until my mother-in-law introduced me to the real deal. When I open my untensil drawer, angels sing, and a halo of golden light pours off this knife and out through the darkness, into my kitchen almost blinding me. My mother-in-law and I discussed how great the knife she got me for my birthday is and she figured out exactly what to get me for the next 13 gift-giving occassions, which made us both thrilled. Until then, I'm more than happy using what I have.

Please don't put more stuff into my untensil drawer.

DN keeps bringing home gifts from the Family Dollar. Now, I'm not oppossed to shopping there as you can score some real bargains. (I personally love my Mean Green All Purpose Cleaner) Yet, I need another trinket or votive holder like I need another hole in my head. The most recent gift was a whore red, well, gift set with candle holder, candle and catch-all. The thought was sweet, so I thanked her and then quickly put the box in my room, where it remains still.  

Why did I put in my room? Because if I hadn't, she'd set it up next to my sculpture in the round. My husband's old bachelor pad stuff that he recently retrieved from his parents house keeps making it up there. My husband knows better, but DN does not. I don't want those novelty tiki cups next to the gorgeous portraits of our kids. I've worked long and hard to not make my home look like frat house. Tastefully combining his and hers prized possesions is a challenge. Let's leave out the tikis, please? Not to mention it makes things look cluttered. I HATE clutter.

Please stop "decorating" my house with crap, okay?

I don't want to be rude, but I have an eye for quality. Its a curse, really. I don't settle; I was raised with the philosophy that you shouldn't settle. It took every fiber of my being to keep myself from saying thanks but no thanks. Do you see anything whore red in my house? Do you see anything that would be sold at the dollar store here? (besides our swear jar, but that doesn't look like dollar store stuff). Can you see how cheaply made this is? Look at the hot glue bubble there!

I was also raised to be polite. I'm sure I'll open up that box, pull out the items, display them for a short time and pack 'em back up. I appreciate gifts given by kids, but at 19, you're pretty much not a kid anymore. Of course, this is the same girl who believes that the ring some kid bought her at 16 is really an emerald and white gold ring. Its very obviously not. Its maybe silver (plated most likely) and cubic zarconia (maybe a semi precious stone like topaz).

I know because I've laid eyes many on real and lab created emeralds, owning a couple myself, and when you are dealing in precious gems, you generally see them in high quality settings. Jewelry is a hobby of mine. I can spot a fake a mile away. The dead give away is the setting's craftmanship. Not to mention, I've seen the same ring a 100 times before and its worth about 5.00 maybe... Some guy gave her a line and she bought it because she doesn't know quality, but she likes stuff, any stuff.

The other thing that DN brings home on a regular basis is pamphelets. I have every peice of literature for Delaware known to man around my living room and kitchen. Every business card. Every flyer. Every advertisement for anything. Its all strewn about my house. Just when I think there could not possibly be anymore, another twenty pop up. Just because its free, doesn't mean you have to bring it home.

And just a few minutes ago, DN gave my son a key chain. Tell me what an 8 year old boy has keys for? I'm hope its a key for a safe deposit box filled with diamonds and tea bills. Why did she bring it home? Because it was... FREE.

Free doesn't mean you HAVE to take it. You can simply say "no thank you".

So, now I have to figure out how to unclutter my house and how to approach the stuff issue with tact. Please stop bringing stuff home for us. We appreciate the thought, but we already have stuff. If you'd like stuff for your room, yourself or what have you, that's fine. I don't need stuff, my boy doesn't need stuff and my husband doesn't need stuff. We also don't need kitchen stuff. The apple corer was cool, but chances are, we aren't missing anything else besides a pizza cutter. I certainly don't need ANOTHER set of used measuring cups. (I have 4 or 5 now thanks to my stuff collectors) I don't like plastic cups. We don't need another pitcher or candle holder. I don't want another throw pillow.

Want to get something? How about a light bulb (figuratively and literally)? How about dishwashing detergent? Want to be nice? Clean something from start to finish, without leaving stuff out. Or even better, put all your stuff away. Offer to cook a meal.

Anything but buying more stuff for us. Pretty please?

C. Disability-Related Inquiries and Medical Examinations Relating to Leave⁽⁶⁴⁾

15. May an employer request an employee to provide a doctor's note or other explanation to substantiate his/her use of sick leave?

Yes. An employer is entitled to know why an employee is requesting sick leave. An employer, therefore, may ask an employee to justify his/her use of sick leave by providing a doctor's note or other explanation, as long as it has a policy or practice of requiring all employees, with and without disabilities, to do so.

16. May an employer require periodic updates when an employee is on extended leave because of a medical condition?

Yes. If the employee's request for leave did not specify an exact or fairly specific return date (e.g., October 4 or around the second week of November) or if the employee needs continued leave beyond what was originally granted, the employer may require the employee to provide periodic updates on his/her condition and possible date of return.⁽⁶⁵⁾ However, where the employer has granted a fixed period of extended leave and the employee has not requested additional leave, the employer cannot require the employee to provide periodic updates. Employers, of course, may call employees on extended leave to check on their progress or to express concern for their health.

17. May an employer make disability-related inquiries or require a medical examination when an employee who has been on leave for a medical condition seeks to return to work?

Yes. If an employer has a reasonable belief that an employee's present ability to perform essential job functions will be impaired by a medical condition or that s/he will pose a direct threat due to a medical condition, the employer may make disability-related inquiries or require the employee to submit to a medical examination. Any inquiries or examination, however, must be limited in scope to what is needed to make an assessment of the employee's ability to work. Usually, inquiries or examinations related to the specific medical condition for which the employee took leave will be all that is warranted. The employer may not use the employee's leave as a justification for making far-ranging disability-related inquiries or requiring an unrelated medical examination.

Example A: A data entry clerk broke her leg while skiing and was out of work for four weeks, after which time she returned to work on crutches. In this case, the employer does not have a reasonable belief, based on objective evidence, either that the clerk's ability to perform her essential job functions will be impaired by a medical condition or that she will pose a direct threat due to a medical condition. The employer, therefore, may not make any disability-related inquiries or require a medical examination but generally may ask the clerk how she is doing and express concern about her injury.

Example B: As the result of problems he was having with his medication, an employee with a known psychiatric disability threatened several of his co-workers and was disciplined. Shortly thereafter, he was hospitalized for six weeks for treatment related to the condition. Two days after his release, the employee returns to work with a note from his doctor indicating only that he is "cleared to return to work." Because the employer has a reasonable belief, based on objective evidence, that the employee will pose a direct threat due to a medical condition, it may ask the employee for additional documentation regarding his medication(s) or treatment or request that he submit to a medical examination.

 

64. The questions and answers in this section address situations in which an employee has used sick, annual, or some other kind of leave because of a medical condition, but has not taken leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). 29 U.S.C. §2601(1994). Where an employee has been on leave under the FMLA, the employer must comply with the requirements of that statute. For example, the FMLA generally does not authorize an employer to make its own determination of whether an employee is fit to return to work but, rather, states that the employer must rely on the evaluation done by the employee's own health care provider. Id. at §2613(b).

 

See Reasonable Accommodation Under the ADA, supra note 6, at 57, 8 FEP at 405:7632.