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Tuesday, 19 January 2010

  • DN's plan to keep a man (and other silly things)

    The brilliance never fails to astound me: 

    DN managed to find herself a halfway decent guy. She's been staying with him since she wrecked her mom's car (we'll get to that fun update in a moment). Actually, this guy, well call him "R", lives with his family. She's technically been living at his family's him since the 3rd week of their courtship. We don't see DN unless she needs something.

    I visited our local drug store after New Years when I was informed that DN and R had purchased a pregnancy test. Probably pretty inappropriate of the cashier to share, but I thanked her for the heads up. I had noticed the clues DN had dropped in conversation over the preceding weeks- talking about feeling rundown and nauseous and being overly moody and dramatic even for her. She's really easy to see through so I wasn't surprised. I even made the comment that she was probably fighting with R and needed a hook into him- being sickly or suspecting pregnancy was completely up her alley.

    I discussed with hubby whether or not I should ask DN about it. He said no, but I couldn't help myself- I wanted to see if she was full of crap or not. I sent her message, thinking that was probably the most non-confrontational way.

    Here's the message she sent back as well as my thoughts:

    no not as far as i know, but i suspect a little cause i've been feeling funny lately.

    Anecdote: My other sister told me on the phone yesterday that DN had had her period, but said that she thought she was pregnant anyway because her stomach was getting bigger. If you saw how much and what DN eats, you'd say 'duh, what did you think would happen? You'd lose weight?' Notice how this is different from what she's said to me. As usual, everyone gets a slightly different story.

    i've taken two tests and they've both come up negative, but mom doesn't know that it's a possibility and that's how i want it til there is actually something to worry about. she's got enough on her plate already

    TRUE: The loss of her mom's car and the 2,000 her mom has left in payments because her daughter wrecked her car has made her mom depressed.

    that's part of why i'm going to the doctor monday, to get a blood test done so i can be sure cause my hormones work differently cause of my diabetes     and stuff.

    FALSE: A pregnancy test would detect pregnancy hormones, if they were present, despite diabetes. She suffers from diabetes, yet doesn't use her glucose monitor or self-manage it. If anything, diabetes will only really interfere with the ability to carry a baby or ability to ovulate regularly.

    that and our family kinda has a thing for irregular pregnancies :/ 

    FALSE:     Our family hasn't had problems in detecting pregnancy- which is what she is actually referring to since her HPTs were both negative. Its the carrying of babies to term that's the problem has been with and if you do the math, its a small percentage, probably falling within the range of average in the general population.

    so i see you still talk to the girls at [drug store] lol... that's the only place i can think of that you heard it.

    TRUE: Of course I heard it. She apparently made such a big deal over buying the test that everyone in the store knew that DN might be pregnant.

    So, there you have it. I personally think its funny. I predict she WILL be pregnant shortly because if she isn't, she's gonna get dumped. She doesn't want to get dumped by this guy because his family owns a business that she wants to be part of... and her friends are getting married and pregnant- tons of attention. Having "diabetes" is getting her nowhere, so being pregnant AND having "diabetes", well that's worth some major doting.

    I never responded back to her message. I wasn't giving in to her attention seeking. It must have driven her crazy, especially after she came home from the doctors. I didn't really ask about much, but it didn't stop her from spending 2 hours on the phone calling everyone she knew to tell them about all the tests she has to have. Poor her. HA! 

    On to the car accident: She's officially lost her license. She thinks she can go to another state to get one. I'd personally pull the plug on that one. If she truly DID black out while driving, then she has a problem that needs to be medically managed BEFORE she gets behind the wheel of a killing machine. She also can't participate on calls at the fire department. She's grounded completely.

    No one thinks she's telling the truth about the accident except her mother. I think her mom HAS to believe, otherwise, she'd hate her daughter. I get that.

    All I know is if they don't find something to explain the black the out, she's screwed. If they do find something and it can't be medically managed, she's screwed again.

    I suggested that she take some Allied Health courses at the community college in the meantime. That, naturally, was a stupid idea. She wants to work as a first responder and something like emergency medicine isn't a good byline. Pa-shaw. Silly girl.


  • Ties to Haiti

    About a week ago, I got a phone call from my husband, who on his way home from work. He said something I couldn't understand, but the way he said it made my heart drop into my stomach. The only thing I could make out was "turn on the news" and something about Haiti.

    He hung up and I practically ran over my sister to get the the remote. I managed, after a bit of fumbling with my shaking hands, to turn on CNN. I don't think words can describe the way the I felt. Panic? Fear? Worry? I'm not really sure, but it was intense, like a silent scream.

    My husband's brother, his wife and their month-old baby lived in Port au Prince, lived and worked just a mile from the airport and no one had heard from them. An hour later, my brother-in-law called. He was okay, but he was looking for his wife and child and his wife's father. It was a long night.

    By 8pm, my brother-in-law was able to make contact again, saying everyone had been found alive and well, but that most things around them were destroyed. They were out side their badly damaged home, aftershocks kept coming and were trying to figure out what exactly do to.

    Days full of tension and worry passed before we were able to privately evacuate our love ones and several others that accompanied them out of the ruins and horror of Haiti. It cost a small fortune, but was worth getting them back to the states. First, they had to walk through the city, past those suffering and past piles of dead bodies and through the stench of death.

    In thirty seconds, millions of people's lives were destroyed.
    My family is in that count.

    Please consider making a donation to the relief effort.






     

Saturday, 28 November 2009

  • Goings on

    So here's what I've been doing lately. Its morphed into a full time job!

    On top of that, lots of duck gathering. The ex recently sorted out his social security mess in order to claim my son's benefits. (since the ex was caught trying to defraud soc. sec, the benefits defaulted to his child) Thank goodness soc. sec. addressed the letter giving the appointment time to my kid in care of his sperm donor. I called them Friday, told them that *I* had custody and the sperm donor hasn't laid eyes on the child ever. The cust rep was very nice and moved up the appointment for ME. Won't the ex be surprised?

    When I got the letter, I knew that's why he filed for visitation. It's always something when he does it. Same deal last time- he wanted to get those measly benefits. How low is that? About as low as trying to get me to pay him to sign away his rights. Yeah, like he wouldn't come back every 2 years for another thousand bucks to stay out of our life.

    Meanwhile, I have an appointment with child support enforcement the 4th of Dec. So not only have I snaked my kid's benefits for my kid, but I'm saddling the ex with $40,000 worth of debt. Merry Christmas, ex, and thanks for taking care of the soc. sec. overpayment nightmare for me!! Appreciate that. Now we might be able to afford to send the boy to private school. YAY!!

    I'm an aunt again. Baby Fritz was born on the Marine Corps b-day. FIL was so proud. He's a cute baby, but its too bad we won't get to meet him until the summer. Boo!

    Nothing new with the family... same old same old. I cook about a million meals a day and clean, while selling stuff on ebay. I'm busy from the time I get up to the time I go to bed. My sis has unemployment now, which means she has money, which means she doesn't clean anymore. (She never really did anyway)

    My niece is out a lot thank goodness, I prefer it that way. Yet, I seem to notice she's leaving her pager home a lot. Not so interested in the firehouse now that she is "in love" again. She spent turkey day with dudes family- which meant she cooked in my kitchen, practically getting pissy when I told her that I was cooking, too. I guess she assumed I wasn't? On top of it, she didn't know what she was doing so I had to help her. I spent hours in the kitchen the night before... ugh. There is now a fine coating of flour everywhere. I had to stop her when she used a wet rag to clean up the flour...

    Hello! Water + flour= GLUE!!!

    She did clean off the counters, but she neglected the cabinets... which now need a good scrubbing. And of course, I had to re-do the dishes again.

    Hello, people!! FOOD CANNOT GO IN THE DISHWASHER! Why aren't the dishes getting clean? Because you don't rinse the FOOD off!!! Where exactly do expect that food to go? If you wouldn't put food down the drain in the sink with the garbage disposal, why would you think it goes down the drain just fine in the dishwasher? Common sense, people.





     



Tuesday, 17 November 2009

  • Well, its been awhile. Things have been crazy, as usual, but we are settling into some semblance of normal.

    Hubby and I have found the lack of one-on-one time the hardest thing with which to cope. We were very used to spending time together almost every evening after we put the boy genius to bed. We were used to being say whatever we felt whenever we wanted to at any given point of the day. Now, we can't. We have to steal those moments when we can.

    We make it a point to do things just the three of us on a regular basis, though regular has turned out to be monthly for many reasons. We also try to do other things that include everyone. For Halloween, we did a three of us trip to the pumpkin farm, but the rest of traditions we included everyone. Thanksgiving, we'll all be at the inlaws house, which makes me incredibly nervous, but I think mom-in-law is happy for the extra people.

    Now to the dish:

    My niece drives me batty. I have to really make an effort to be nice, but I don't have a lot of patience. The girl just isn't too bright, coupled with her narcissism and my skin crawls when she enters the room. Right now, I'm dying from the stench of cheap perfume she left in the air. Maybe not dying, but I AM sneezing.

    She is now a volunteer firefighter and EMS. She's still training. She just got a call and we live two minutes from the station and the call was two minutes away from that. Because she's so self-centered, she stopped to take her vitamins before heading out to respond. I couldn't believe it. She should have bolted out of the door (and she has in the past), but not today.

    Hubby thinks that her self-centeredness is going to push her out of the profession, because if it isn't about her, she isn't interested. Its hard to make emergency about the respondents. Emergencies dictate by nature that they are about the victims. Hubby has a knack for predicting people's futures this way.

    Now, she's been here 4 or 5 months now. She did get a job, but more amazingly, she's been through 5 or 6 guys. The first Boston guy, whom she was so in love with, he was her soul mate, dumped her. It only took a few days for her to recover and found a new guy, they had 2 dates (not even REAL dates) before they were officially a couple.

    I told her that it was impossible to have a real relationship without knowing someone for awhile. Love isn't physically possible for at least 6 months. I told her if she wanted a real, grown up relationship,  then she needed to stop acting like she was in high school, passing a note to a guy saying "will you go with me" before you've even had a date. She retorted with "yadda, yadda, yadda, we are so compatible" kinda we-just-clicked thing.

    They clicked alright, but not enough for her to even call him while he was in the hospital. And she went all "old lady" on him. You can't mother men, but she tries. Its a little creepy to hear her talk in that "motherly" way about the guys she dates.

    The new guy "hit and quit it" as hubby would say. Then she found someone else. And someone else, so on and so forth. And she's managed to find every redneck in the area. This latest one is a cook, second one she's dated. She said she had a knack for finding them. I wanted to tell her that "cook" is pretty much a job for those who don't have the drive to be a "chef" or want to spend their lives funding their partying habits. This cook wants to be a state cop, but wants and actions aren't the same thing.



Saturday, 10 October 2009

  • Stop Bringing Stuff Home

    I knew adding to our house would make this more than cozy, but what I didn't count on was all the stuff that would continually be brought into my home. Everyday, more pops up. Stuff, stuff and more stuff.

    I am discerning when it comes to stuff. I'd rather have just a few very nice things than a lot of crap. I understand that this makes my house seem a little bare, apart from the treasures I already have. One person's bare is another's minimalist, anyway. I don't mind minimalism; I embrace it, actually.

    Less stuff, less to clean up, less to dust, and more anticipation each Christmas when my mother-in-law hands me that one impractical treasure neatly tied up with a bow fit for a princess. My mother-in-law's taste is impeccable and very much in sync with my own. There's always a gem among the oranges, toothbrushes, socks and deodorant.  A gift whose value will appreciate over the years, become an heirloom and be able to passed onto one of our 3 collective children.

    My mother has found a niche in great the stuff she sends me on holidays and birthdays. She's figured out that her daughter is a stuff snob of her creating. I have a good bit of artwork waiting to framed thanks to her and my jewelry over-floweth with interesting and precious baubles.   

    But alas, my perfect plan of aquiring quality stuff has met resistance. You see, my sis and my DN don't have the patience I do. They want stuff now and they'll settle for anything.

    Like the knife set my husband pulled out of storage. It's a cheap knife set, your first apartment kind where you're flat broke and its all you can afford? My sis said "Hey, we can use these knives!" 

    N-O! No. I've spent 33 years with crap knives, until my mother-in-law introduced me to the real deal. When I open my untensil drawer, angels sing, and a halo of golden light pours off this knife and out through the darkness, into my kitchen almost blinding me. My mother-in-law and I discussed how great the knife she got me for my birthday is and she figured out exactly what to get me for the next 13 gift-giving occassions, which made us both thrilled. Until then, I'm more than happy using what I have.

    Please don't put more stuff into my untensil drawer.

    DN keeps bringing home gifts from the Family Dollar. Now, I'm not oppossed to shopping there as you can score some real bargains. (I personally love my Mean Green All Purpose Cleaner) Yet, I need another trinket or votive holder like I need another hole in my head. The most recent gift was a whore red, well, gift set with candle holder, candle and catch-all. The thought was sweet, so I thanked her and then quickly put the box in my room, where it remains still.  

    Why did I put in my room? Because if I hadn't, she'd set it up next to my sculpture in the round. My husband's old bachelor pad stuff that he recently retrieved from his parents house keeps making it up there. My husband knows better, but DN does not. I don't want those novelty tiki cups next to the gorgeous portraits of our kids. I've worked long and hard to not make my home look like frat house. Tastefully combining his and hers prized possesions is a challenge. Let's leave out the tikis, please? Not to mention it makes things look cluttered. I HATE clutter.

    Please stop "decorating" my house with crap, okay?

    I don't want to be rude, but I have an eye for quality. Its a curse, really. I don't settle; I was raised with the philosophy that you shouldn't settle. It took every fiber of my being to keep myself from saying thanks but no thanks. Do you see anything whore red in my house? Do you see anything that would be sold at the dollar store here? (besides our swear jar, but that doesn't look like dollar store stuff). Can you see how cheaply made this is? Look at the hot glue bubble there!

    I was also raised to be polite. I'm sure I'll open up that box, pull out the items, display them for a short time and pack 'em back up. I appreciate gifts given by kids, but at 19, you're pretty much not a kid anymore. Of course, this is the same girl who believes that the ring some kid bought her at 16 is really an emerald and white gold ring. Its very obviously not. Its maybe silver (plated most likely) and cubic zarconia (maybe a semi precious stone like topaz).

    I know because I've laid eyes many on real and lab created emeralds, owning a couple myself, and when you are dealing in precious gems, you generally see them in high quality settings. Jewelry is a hobby of mine. I can spot a fake a mile away. The dead give away is the setting's craftmanship. Not to mention, I've seen the same ring a 100 times before and its worth about 5.00 maybe... Some guy gave her a line and she bought it because she doesn't know quality, but she likes stuff, any stuff.

    The other thing that DN brings home on a regular basis is pamphelets. I have every peice of literature for Delaware known to man around my living room and kitchen. Every business card. Every flyer. Every advertisement for anything. Its all strewn about my house. Just when I think there could not possibly be anymore, another twenty pop up. Just because its free, doesn't mean you have to bring it home.

    And just a few minutes ago, DN gave my son a key chain. Tell me what an 8 year old boy has keys for? I'm hope its a key for a safe deposit box filled with diamonds and tea bills. Why did she bring it home? Because it was... FREE.

    Free doesn't mean you HAVE to take it. You can simply say "no thank you".

    So, now I have to figure out how to unclutter my house and how to approach the stuff issue with tact. Please stop bringing stuff home for us. We appreciate the thought, but we already have stuff. If you'd like stuff for your room, yourself or what have you, that's fine. I don't need stuff, my boy doesn't need stuff and my husband doesn't need stuff. We also don't need kitchen stuff. The apple corer was cool, but chances are, we aren't missing anything else besides a pizza cutter. I certainly don't need ANOTHER set of used measuring cups. (I have 4 or 5 now thanks to my stuff collectors) I don't like plastic cups. We don't need another pitcher or candle holder. I don't want another throw pillow.

    Want to get something? How about a light bulb (figuratively and literally)? How about dishwashing detergent? Want to be nice? Clean something from start to finish, without leaving stuff out. Or even better, put all your stuff away. Offer to cook a meal.

    Anything but buying more stuff for us. Pretty please?

     

     

     

     

     

care

  • Visit care's Momaroo Site
    • Name: care
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 1/10/2009

About Me

  • I'm a mom, a wife and part-time beauty advisor for Walgreens. Hubby is a therapist, so if you can imagine what living with Dr. Phil is like, that's my life. I have son from my first marriage and hubby has a son and daughter from his second marriage, that don't live with us. Even though my son is not biologically hubby's, you'd never freaking know. He is a clone of my hubby, anal nature and all... I'm mouthy, opinionated, chatty, an antagonist at times, but I am also empathetic and compassionate. I've been known to eat my words on more than one occassion. Banner made with scrap kits from: www.DeliciousScraps.com Pin Up .png from Luvin_Large_Luvs_Les_Toil Yahoo! Group

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  • care
    @DearSnippie@xanga - Absolutely- go to town!
    • Posted 4/26/2009 9:59 AM
    • by care
  • DearSnippie@xanga
    OMG I love your blinkies!!! Can I steal some?

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