Saturday, 18 July 2009

  • My Niece is a Mess

    Speaking of my sister, her daughter strikes again. I do love my niece, but liking her is a stretch. Here's the thing: She's 19, worked briefly at McDonald's when she was 16 because she was crushing on the manager. Her dad gave her the boot because of the no job issue.

    I expected her to come with my sister. I told her that she could at least stay for the rest of the summer, get her life situated and have a sit down with me and my hubby about what we can do for her long term. If her sister doesn't decide that living with her dad is bogus, then we would have some room for her.

    She helped her mom move their stuff, but turned tail and left. She gave the excuse she had to babysit, but she'd be back. Seems to me if I were practically homeless, I'd be ready to run to whatever bit of security there was in order to have a chance. Seems to me when I was her age, though I was slow to blossom, I did work and I did pay my parents for my boarding either in money or blood, sweat and tears from the time I turned 18 to the time I moved out. School or not. Life offers no freebies.

    You know why my niece hasn't returned? Because the bedroom she'd be staying in is TOO SMALL. What? She wants her mom to share the larger bedroom with her. My sister told me that isn't happening and I have to agree. Its hard to understand if you've never been on your own or parent, but sharing a room with your adult kid is very uncool. The reason kids have their own rooms is not just for the kid's sake- its for the parents sanity.

    Frankly, for someone who pretty much has nowhere else to go, she's splitting hairs. Sure, the room is small, but it IS livable. I offered my sis some space in my closet or the laundry closet that is empty at the moment (because of the crappy way this house is set up, drying clothes in a dryer works as well as roasting them in the oven). Even my son could give up some space in his closet, which is probably the safest of ideas.

    I can see my niece fighting tooth and nail with her mom over this. But that's not the disappointing thing. The thing that gets me is that as each day passes here without her, my husband is going to take less seriously. If he doesn't have even a small bit of faith that she's going to work to self-sufficiency, he will refuse to let her stay here at all for any length of time. 

    This bedroom thing demonstrates just how warped her priorities are, which lends credence to my husband's belief that she is just looking for another free ride. My husband reminds me that this is no flop-house. I have to agree and you can't argue in her defense when she isn't doing anything for her future. She's making this very hard for everyone to help her.

    I already told my neice that she will be expected to get a job immediately, no matter how long she stays. My sister doesn't have money to support her, we don't have the money to support her beyond the basic roof and meals. That's it. In this area, summer is a great time to gain employment because its tourist season. A kid with no work history is a commodity. Hell, they are imported from other areas and countries because there is that much demand for cheap labor. Once the season ends, its back to dog eat dog job market. Heck, it took me almost 6 months to find a job in the off season and I have tons of marketable skills, great references, and lots experience.

    There's a month and a half left in the season. There's no time to haggle over a bedroom. There's only time to make the best of a bad situation and her bad choices. At this point she needs to prove to everyone she is serious and her window on that opportunity is running out.

     

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